Location: United States

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Innocent until proven guilty.

I told my friend Toby about my garden encounter with Mr. Kelrast. I told her how insistent he was that we should have lunch or dinner together. I told Toby I was sure this meant he must want to be "more than friends." After all, single men and women cannot have a meal together with a purely platonic interest in one another!

Toby asked me if I discouraged him. I told her that I did, and then admitted how flattered I was by his attentions. Mr. Kelrast is at least 15 years younger than I am, and yet he seemed taken with me at first sight! I could feel how he was devouring me with his eyes. I could tell he was imagining what I would look like without my clothes on. What I did not admit to Toby was that this turned me on. Robert Keeshan is the man I used to fantasize about when my late husband and I were having marital relations. Mr. Kelrast bears more than a passing resemblance to that devastatingly handsome actor, now sadly deceased.

I told Toby that Mr. Kelrast said I remind him of his late wife. Toby then warned me to stay away from Mr. Kelrast. Neighborhood gossip has it that Mr. Kelrast may have been responsible for his late wife's death! She died in some sort of household accident while only she and Mr. Kelrast were at home, and they were reportedly having marital troubles. Of course, I do not believe there is any truth in this rumor. Who could possibly be unhappy to be married to a Robert Keeshan look-alike? Such a woman would have to be insane.

I myself choose to believe that people are innocent until they are proven guilty in a court of law! Giving creedence to idle neighborhood gossip often causes rumors to fester into facts! There are a lot of terrible lies going around in this world. Toby says that the awful thing is, half of these lies are true! But I am sure that the lies about Mr. Kelrast are real lies, and not true lies. I think that's what I mean to say, anyway.

Excuse me now. I need to change into a sensible pantsuit before I go to my sewing circle.


Anonymous Dennie Worth said...


I loved Robert Keeshan. From my sick bed I watched him play Clarabelle the Clown and then later on I think I saw every episode of Captain Kangaroo. It's no fun to be crippled, but Captain Kangaroo made it all better. And I don't think there has ever been a better comedian than Bunny Rabbit. I know all his jokes were about hiding or stealing carrots from Captain Kangaroo, but he always made it fresh.

Love your crippled grandson,

4:51 PM  

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